Sunday, December 7, 2008
Weekend with no kids
My fabulous inlaws came and got the kids on Sat. morning so that Ryan and I could go do some Christmas shopping and then I got to go out with a friend for a speaker at church and then coffee at Starbucks! They have had them all day today too. They are on their way here as I type this so I'll be heading back into mommy-mode here soon. I've totally enjoyed my two days shopping with no kid hassles, an evening out, a full night's sleep, sleeping in (I'm embarrassed to admit what time I got out of bed this morning!) but I have missed them! It will be supper time and bath time and get ready for bed and the week ahead time when they get home. Ryan's at a Pacers game with my dad, brother, and his brother so we're on our own tonight.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Grady then and now
I wanted to post some pics of Grady from his hospitalizations to compare with him now. 
Jan. 24, 2008
Off the vent (Jan 26)
.jpg)
March 2008 (he'd been on the vent and then off and was going to have to go back on)
Off the vent a second time and the withdrawls from the meds were about to start
Jan. 22, 2008. He stopped breathing on Jan. 21, 2008. This is him on the vent in the PICU at 7 weeks old.
Jan. 24, 2008
Off the vent (Jan 26)
.jpg)
March 2008 (he'd been on the vent and then off and was going to have to go back on)
Off the vent a second time and the withdrawls from the meds were about to start
Out of PICU (March) but not ready to go home yet.
One of his favorite poses, the docs said it looked like he was praying to go home.
I have two pics from his August stay but they are on my phone and I think my husband disabled my texting abilities because I can't send them to myself! :( The January stay was 10 days (vented once), then 5 days in Feb (no vent that time), then 25 days in March (vented twice then), then two days in August (no vent).
Anyway, here are a couple new ones of Grady from just these past two weeks!
Dear Santa
Dear Santa,When you bring gifts for my children this year, would you mind dropping a few things off for me as well? I'd really appreciate it (I've been a good girl most of the year) I'd like you to bring me:
- weekends that last longer than a blink of the eye
- naps on the weekends (for the kids and me!)
- time to go shopping without the stroller and carseats and hats and gloves and sippies and snacks and diaper bag and sanitizing wipes and toys
- jeans that fit and make me look decent- clothes (other than my school/work uniform) that fit and look nice
- time to just sit with a cup of tea and read a book (and the time after the kids are in bed doesn't count, I'm too darn tired then!)
- money that is to ONLY be used for me! I would try to buy the kids something though, I know I would!
- a person to cook dinner and clean up the dishes every day (or once or twice a week even!)
- laundry person (I don't mind the washing, I just need someone to fold, sort, and put it all away!)
- a date night--dinner, theater movie (haven't been to one since before Taylor you know!)
- time and money to go get a haircut- time and money for a massage!
- a pill that will make me lose 20 pounds and keep it off but I can keep shoving food in my face the way I am now
Santa, of course, all I really want is happy and healthy children and family and friends. I want to live life to its fullest and see happiness in my kids' eyes. BUT-- if you're looking for things to bring me, you may use the above list as reference! :)
- weekends that last longer than a blink of the eye
- naps on the weekends (for the kids and me!)
- time to go shopping without the stroller and carseats and hats and gloves and sippies and snacks and diaper bag and sanitizing wipes and toys
- jeans that fit and make me look decent- clothes (other than my school/work uniform) that fit and look nice
- time to just sit with a cup of tea and read a book (and the time after the kids are in bed doesn't count, I'm too darn tired then!)
- money that is to ONLY be used for me! I would try to buy the kids something though, I know I would!
- a person to cook dinner and clean up the dishes every day (or once or twice a week even!)
- laundry person (I don't mind the washing, I just need someone to fold, sort, and put it all away!)
- a date night--dinner, theater movie (haven't been to one since before Taylor you know!)
- time and money to go get a haircut- time and money for a massage!
- a pill that will make me lose 20 pounds and keep it off but I can keep shoving food in my face the way I am now
Santa, of course, all I really want is happy and healthy children and family and friends. I want to live life to its fullest and see happiness in my kids' eyes. BUT-- if you're looking for things to bring me, you may use the above list as reference! :)
The Invisible Mom
I guess this is going around on email but I haven't seen it until today. I obviously didn't write this. I DON'T get up at 4 to make pies or iron table linens (and I WON'T ever do that) but I DO feel like I do a lot for my kids that they will never realize or truly appreciate (until maybe they are parents themselves) However, I like the message here.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.
The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England... Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.
The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England... Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Christmas Spirit Award
First, as I'm typing this, Taylor whisper yells from her bed, "MOOOMMMMYYYY!" So I go in there and she sits up and says, "I want a poodle. I saw one in Miah's magazine!" Ok, Taylor, we'll see. Goodnight. :)
Second, someone (Alicia) gave me a Christmas spirit award! How nice is that?! So, now I get to pass it on!
The Rules go a little something like this:
You must be a true Christmas lover to receive this award.
The person to whom you give the award must also be in love with Christmas.
You must link back to the person who gave you the award.
You must list 5 things that you love about Christmas. If you can't limit it to 5 things, then keep going till you run out of space! :o)
Pass the award along to as many people as you like. That can be 1 or 45; it's up to you. But, you must pass it on to at least one person in order to keep the Christmas cheer going!
Let your recipients know that you have tagged them by leaving them a comment on their blog.
And that's all!
Pretty easy, eh?
What I love about Christmas:
* Seeing it through my daughter and son's eyes! They get so excited!
* Family
* 2 weeks off school! :)
* Yummy goodies at school and gatherings!
* Giving little gifts
*Decorations
* And, of course, the true reason for the season, celebrating Jesus' birth!
Now I tag:
Rose at growingcolin.blogspot.com
Sadly, that's the only other person I know who blogs regularly. I need more blog friends!
Second, someone (Alicia) gave me a Christmas spirit award! How nice is that?! So, now I get to pass it on!
The Rules go a little something like this:
You must be a true Christmas lover to receive this award.
The person to whom you give the award must also be in love with Christmas.
You must link back to the person who gave you the award.
You must list 5 things that you love about Christmas. If you can't limit it to 5 things, then keep going till you run out of space! :o)
Pass the award along to as many people as you like. That can be 1 or 45; it's up to you. But, you must pass it on to at least one person in order to keep the Christmas cheer going!
Let your recipients know that you have tagged them by leaving them a comment on their blog.
And that's all!
Pretty easy, eh?
What I love about Christmas:
* Seeing it through my daughter and son's eyes! They get so excited!
* Family
* 2 weeks off school! :)
* Yummy goodies at school and gatherings!
* Giving little gifts
*Decorations
* And, of course, the true reason for the season, celebrating Jesus' birth!
Now I tag:
Rose at growingcolin.blogspot.com
Sadly, that's the only other person I know who blogs regularly. I need more blog friends!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
How's this for profound!?!?!
Here's some profound writing for you (see previous post)
GRADY HAS ANOTHER FREAKING DOUBLE EAR INFECTION!!!!!!!
That was beautiful, huh?
Woke at daycare with 103 temp and screaming. I got the call as I was leaving school so I rushed to get him (while calling dr. and praying for an appt.) and got him back to the doctor (they usually try to get him in with his history). Double ear infection. So we're on augmentin for 10 days. Bring on the poop! Hope to avoid the rash! He's fitfully sleeping right now with a dose of Tylenol and his first dose of augmentin. Here's to a restful night.
Oh, and let's see how profound I'm feeling when I have to get us all up and ready so I can get to a 7:45 staff meeting (in which I have to make a presentation, yippee skippee! Note, that was sarcasm.)
Good night all! Prayers for Grady's ears to heal and nothing else to start up (respiratory stuff). Oh, and we'll probably be seeing a ENT soon about tubes. Maybe before 2009? That would be a nice end to this whirlwind of 2008.
GRADY HAS ANOTHER FREAKING DOUBLE EAR INFECTION!!!!!!!
That was beautiful, huh?
Woke at daycare with 103 temp and screaming. I got the call as I was leaving school so I rushed to get him (while calling dr. and praying for an appt.) and got him back to the doctor (they usually try to get him in with his history). Double ear infection. So we're on augmentin for 10 days. Bring on the poop! Hope to avoid the rash! He's fitfully sleeping right now with a dose of Tylenol and his first dose of augmentin. Here's to a restful night.
Oh, and let's see how profound I'm feeling when I have to get us all up and ready so I can get to a 7:45 staff meeting (in which I have to make a presentation, yippee skippee! Note, that was sarcasm.)
Good night all! Prayers for Grady's ears to heal and nothing else to start up (respiratory stuff). Oh, and we'll probably be seeing a ENT soon about tubes. Maybe before 2009? That would be a nice end to this whirlwind of 2008.
Nothing Profound
I read other blogs and I am captivated by the richness of their writing. They have a beautiful way of saying things. I think I have too much "newspaper" in me, my writing doesn't seem to flow as beautifully as others. I do more reporting.
I wish I had profound things to write about. During the day I think of things that I should write but since I'm teaching I can't just sit down and write them. Then by the time I get my kids, get home, fix supper, clean up, do baths, and bed, I'm exhausted and those profound things that had popped into my head during the day are sound asleep in my foggy brain.
One thing I'd like to write about is that teachers don't have "easy" jobs. Someone told me one day, "well, at least your job isn't hard" and I about bopped them on the head. Anyone is welcome to come do my job for an average week (and do it well!!) and then tell me it's not hard. Here's my typical day (not that it's "harder" than anyone else's job, but it's not EASY):
* Up at 5-5:30 am (after being up at least once in the night for Taylor's potty break!)
* Get the kids up around 6:15am
* Out the door around 7-7:15 am (unless I have a staff meeting then I have to leave earlier)
* Husband usually takes kids to daycare but some days I take them
* At school by about 7:45-8:15 depending on the day
* Prepare lessons, homework, room for the day. Attend planned or impromtu meetings.
* Use the bathroom (this is important since I can't go again for a few hours!)
* Students arrive at 9:05am
* Full time teacher, mother, babysitter, secretary, nurse, counselor from 9:05-11:30
* 30 min break at 11:30 (which is actually a 20 min break by the time you get the kids to their special class and go to the bathroom)
* Full time teacher, mother, babysitter, secretary, nurse, counselor from 12-12:40
* My lunch is 40 min but some days that's only 20 min due to recess duty. I also have to work on paperwork, make copies, call parents, check on issues in the office so I usually shove a lunch in my mouth in about 20 min and then take a quick restroom break
* Full time teacher, mother, babysitter, secretary, nurse, counselor from 1:20-3:50
* Dismissal at 3:50 then I leave school at 4:05
* At daycare by 4:35, home by about 5pm
* Supper usually over around 6 pm and we start clean up and baths
* Grady's ready for bed at 7pm and then Taylor follows around 7:15-7:30.
* I finish dishes, do any small school stuff I brought home, check email, try to spend some time with husband, unwind, and then crash into bed
I feel like I'm "on" all day. WHEW!
Anyway, I'm not saying it's the hardest job in the world. It's not all that physically demanding but it's mentally and emotionally demanding to be the sole person in charge of (at last count) 27 innercity 4th graders who all bring huge loads of issues with them to school.
Well, it's time to stop wasting time and get my day started!!
I wish I had profound things to write about. During the day I think of things that I should write but since I'm teaching I can't just sit down and write them. Then by the time I get my kids, get home, fix supper, clean up, do baths, and bed, I'm exhausted and those profound things that had popped into my head during the day are sound asleep in my foggy brain.
One thing I'd like to write about is that teachers don't have "easy" jobs. Someone told me one day, "well, at least your job isn't hard" and I about bopped them on the head. Anyone is welcome to come do my job for an average week (and do it well!!) and then tell me it's not hard. Here's my typical day (not that it's "harder" than anyone else's job, but it's not EASY):
* Up at 5-5:30 am (after being up at least once in the night for Taylor's potty break!)
* Get the kids up around 6:15am
* Out the door around 7-7:15 am (unless I have a staff meeting then I have to leave earlier)
* Husband usually takes kids to daycare but some days I take them
* At school by about 7:45-8:15 depending on the day
* Prepare lessons, homework, room for the day. Attend planned or impromtu meetings.
* Use the bathroom (this is important since I can't go again for a few hours!)
* Students arrive at 9:05am
* Full time teacher, mother, babysitter, secretary, nurse, counselor from 9:05-11:30
* 30 min break at 11:30 (which is actually a 20 min break by the time you get the kids to their special class and go to the bathroom)
* Full time teacher, mother, babysitter, secretary, nurse, counselor from 12-12:40
* My lunch is 40 min but some days that's only 20 min due to recess duty. I also have to work on paperwork, make copies, call parents, check on issues in the office so I usually shove a lunch in my mouth in about 20 min and then take a quick restroom break
* Full time teacher, mother, babysitter, secretary, nurse, counselor from 1:20-3:50
* Dismissal at 3:50 then I leave school at 4:05
* At daycare by 4:35, home by about 5pm
* Supper usually over around 6 pm and we start clean up and baths
* Grady's ready for bed at 7pm and then Taylor follows around 7:15-7:30.
* I finish dishes, do any small school stuff I brought home, check email, try to spend some time with husband, unwind, and then crash into bed
I feel like I'm "on" all day. WHEW!
Anyway, I'm not saying it's the hardest job in the world. It's not all that physically demanding but it's mentally and emotionally demanding to be the sole person in charge of (at last count) 27 innercity 4th graders who all bring huge loads of issues with them to school.
Well, it's time to stop wasting time and get my day started!!
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